Rest For a Frozen Heart

Stepping out into the frigid afternoon, this caught my eye while on the way to retrieve our mail…

It was one section of our heart shaped rain chain hanging from the gutter above, frozen solid in a coating of ice.

I had to run back inside and grab my phone to take a picture, because this image perfectly describes how my heart and creative energy have been feeling since Mama died: frozen.

Our Christmas was spent in eight sweet days with her in hospice. She stepped out of her weary, broken down body and into heaven on December 30th.

I love the Bible verse that says. . .

When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.” - 1 Corinthians 15:54

Mama got swallowed up in victory in the form of eternal life in Jesus Christ at 10am that day. It was a glorious moment for her. . . but I miss her something fierce.

A dear friend sent me the sweetest text about my loss around the time of Mama’s funeral. In the middle of it, she wrote this four letter word in all caps: REST.

That’s what I’m doing- not pushing or producing or even painting much right now. I’m letting my heart rest and recuperate as I walk along the quiet path of grief.

For a producer/performer like me, it feels unnatural. I’m reminding myself daily spring will eventually come and the ice will melt away- on my rain chain and in my heart. But for now, I’m giving myself permission to rest and let my heart heal from the loss of my friend and day-trip companion and dining buddy, my precious Mama.

That’s OK for me in these days and, friend, if you find yourself walking through a season of grief, I hope you’ll give yourself permission to take time to REST as well. ~DHS